After a splendid month at home with my favorites, I've realized my gaping desire for friendship in Belize. People's need for community and relationship is interwoven in our being.
God, who is all encompassing, the beginning and the end, has never been alone. The Trinity (God the Father, Jesus the Son, and The Holy Spirit) has displayed perfect community through all time. As image bearers of God, we too search for connectedness with others around us. God knew this aspect of our design during creation. With the very first man, God claimed 'it is not good for man to be alone' (Gen 2:18). Introverts and extroverts alike have a natural desire to be known. Some thrive in noisy environments with large groups gathered while others prefer one on one conversations. We seek community through different avenues, ranging from maintaining friendships since kindergarten to striking up conversation in an elevator. Then there are international missions.
Athletic teams, church organizations, and school clubs filled my childhood with incredible people and memories together. I was spoiled by familiar faces facilitating years of relationships. For me, moving to another city and knowing no one was lonely. Another country, culture, and language; difficult. Seen and stereotyped without a word to defend yourself; frustrating. People either think you're too proud to speak with them or see your existence as dollar signs and a handout. (Not so fun fact, someone called me Money. As in 'Good morning Money.') Also, in my brief experience here, I've found that women are often treated as objects, but that is for another time. I have found it difficult to find a solid community of like-minded people.
I have found moderate community in various bubbles of Belize. There lingers a void of missing deep connectedness of my friends and family in the States; where a phone call doesn't scratch the itch of simply being with my top notch people.
Here are glimpses of Belizean interactions that've blessed me:
-a bike stacked with two mesmerized children when we experienced God's beauty in darkness during a citywide blackout (See 'God is the Star of this show')
-early morning dancing and parading behind a flatbed 18 wheeler with hundreds of neighbors of all ages covered in paint and glitter, enjoying each other and celebrations of oncoming carnival season
-a pretend tea party with 5 year olds in a playground treehouse
-hospitality of strangers in churches we have visited, displaying generosity of time, food, and support towards our ministry in San Antonio
-waiters, waitresses and managers of restaurants we regularly visit. Our times with them are much more than business or a meal. (Alma, you the realest)
-being a motherly role, assisting children getting ready for bed and getting ready for school, without knowing where their biological mother is or when she will return
-a sweet conversation with our market lady, who supplies us with fresh fruits and vegetables. She was curious about our time at home in the States and gave us a gift of Papanero (papaya/habenero salsa)
Although these relationships are new and surface level to begin, they will continue to flourish over time with intentional conversations and exposure to deeper characteristics of each. Most of these people I see often, multiple times a week if not daily. I only know the parts of their lives they've offered to share with me, or the parts I've curiously inquired about. However, I cannot say I truly know them. So it is natural with a variety of relationships, to vaguely know your market lady versus deeply understanding a youth you long to clearly present the Gospel daily.
My Belizean people don't realize how I selfishly yearn for them to know me better too. Like 'Hey kid, ask me about MY life!' But God knows me throughout. I know this to be true by David's description of God's knowledge of his children found in Psalm 139.
1You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
2You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
Wow. Every thought. Every fear. So God, The Lord (master) of Heaven and Earth, the great I AM.....knows me? And still loves me?! Yes Hallelujah, He knows all of my qualities that stem from an often ugly heart, yet still adores me enough to walk before me and with me daily. And (here comes the boom) poured out the blood of His only son as a perfect sacrifice for all my sin! My endless effort striving to be known on Earth can make me dry and exhausted; on the other hand what joy and comfort abounding when I remember the One who made all things knows and loves me through and through! In that, I find great rest.
In order to nurture this relationship as well, I need to learn more about God through spending time with him. Discipline is weak in this area; in my free time I gravitate to social media to stay up to speed with life happenings of friends and mere acquaintances, Netflix for entertainment, or attempts to broaden my missionary mindset by reading our team book assigned in June. Instead of indulging in mindless hobbies after a hard day of serving a struggling population, I should aim to be recharged by perfect truth. Isaiah 40:31 says
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
This divine renewal of strength proves more reliable than scrolling through Pinterest recipes during down time. Setting aside time spent in the Word, prayer to hear Him and be in His presence should be more important in my day. As it urges in James 4:8 "Come near to God and he will come near to you." Pray my desire to seek Him further.
So my friends, hug the folks with whom you grab the occasional coffee with, utilize the intentionality of your small group, and cherish those random grocery store reunions. And when it's time, dig deeper, know fuller, and love harder. Miss ya!
How wonderful to hear of the growth in your relationships and your Relationship; the chronicles of your journeys and your Journey. Proud to be called your Uncle.
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