Can't sleep? Count (yourselves as) sheep

3:00 am 2 days away from my one-way flight (3,2,1, go)
So I lay here awake, unable to shut off my mind about my impending journey and year in Belize.
I am tempted to text or call anyone else who might still be up (thinking of you nightshift friends). Which led me to remember a catchy saying my SOS team leader taught us:
 "take it to the throne before you pick up the phone" Nice one Maddy!

Friends and family are a blessing and comfort through conversation or presence.
But opening up God's word to welcome Him to speak, into what typically is a one-sided conversation in prayer, has lifted me out of fear's grasp.

(open the bible, hmm lets see here..)
People-I was led to John 10, The Good Shepherd and His Sheep. This is no coincidence.
This passage was preached to me and about 40 others March 10, 2013 under a hot tent in Corozal, Belize. Completely in Spanish. Did I mention it was hot? No light show, no microphone, personal fans constantly fluttering. For 2 hours I pieced together phrases of truth and watched a man get so touched to tears that he paused often in his delivery of this impactful message.
He read verse 14 and had the crowd repeat it back at least 10 times.

"I am the good shepherd, I know my sheep and my sheep know me----
»Yo soy el buen pastor; conozco a mis ovejas, y ellas me conocen a mí"

Our Shepherd, Jesus Christ, laid his life down for us. He made it His job to his death to protect us and help us grow. He is always watching and leading us for our good and for His glory. How comforting!
Also in Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of the lost sheep. How a good shepherd will leave the group of safe 99 to seek the one who has wandered from the flock. He parades into town with the sheep on his shoulders as the town rejoices over the return of his lost livestock. Similarly, the heavens rejoice when one sinner repents and rests in the arms of the Father. My fellow sheep, we are so loved!

I feel God brought this familiar passage to mind as if to say "Amber, I was with you in the hot bilingual tent. I am with you now and the same truth applies. John 10 will never change and neither will my protective watch over you. Rest easy little sheep. I love you."

Bahhhhh

Labels

Over our lives we accumulate a plethora of temporary labels, as they relate to roles in seasons of life.

Toddler, new neighbor, student, youth kid, athlete, intern, graduate, fiance, newlywed, employee, etc.

Each new position brings responsibilities with it; responsibilities we choose to take up or shrug off.

My position with San Antonio Outreach has been "intern" for the last couple of months. Interns' responsibilities for this ministry were vague, serve-where-needed type of role. As this is the launch of this project, administration felt that more definitive titles should be given to our team members.

     Charles (our team leader, Project Director) called last week and announced my new label of "Education Coordinator." This new position is more precise to my service for the ministry. It also pinpoints my God given gifts of identifying student deficit areas, designing a plan with specific curriculum and activities, and facilitating learning with individual students or small groups. This.is.my.passion. Exactly how I viewed pursuing Special Education during college years and my reading tutoring days in inner-city Knoxville at Thrive Lonsdale.

"Education Coordinator" is a temporary label, 10 months or so (my Belizean commitment as far as God has revealed). I am going to embrace this role I have trained for, and I could talk for days about the benefits of holistic development for young students. And by the grace of God, I get to make it my act of worship daily!

Now, two labels of mine are more permanent, sinner and new creation.

Romans 3:22-24
22This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

      This Romans 3 passage discusses the inevitable quality of being imperfect people. 3:23 says "for ALL have sinned". I won't list each of my many (dozens, daily, hourly) sins I have committed against my Maker in my life. But just to name a few, my sins include but not are limited to: service with impure motives, unkind words, unloving actions, lies, making idols of worldly achievements, manipulating people and situations for my benefit, jealousy, and and overall distrust of God's perfect plan for my life. Wow. Gross. My heart is twisted and has a natural tendency to lean away from my Father. I wrestle too often with doing life the selfish Amber way, when God has shown me in His word how to live through grace and love instead. Repentance is a necessity because I have been a bad daughter and even worse co-heir in the inheritance of heaven. Uh. Sinner, a load of a label I will never shake.

Take heart Amber, you pessimistic, perpetual wrong-doer!

Romans 3:22 & 24 bring the heat. Those verses claim that I, and all unrighteous sinners, have the righteousness of Jesus, the spotless lamb. Wait, seriously? Covering this messed up soul? YES. Jesus' sacrificial death redeemed my relationship with God and reset my eternal destination from down to UP! Again in Romans 5:8 it reads 8"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God knew what a rebellious people his chosen nation were, yet sent his only son to die the humiliating death we deserve. Hallelujah! What a gift!

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." Because of my faith in my Savior Jesus Christ, new facts and new qualities are true of me. My past and future sin is forgiven. Gone. My debt is paid in full. Done. I am remade, rewired, and redirected to want the things my Lord desires when I chose to remain attentive to His presence and direction. And that my friends is where true peace is found.

Labels, we all have them. It's what we choose to do with these titles that determines how we glorify God during that season. Therefore, I rejoice in my identity of a new creation, battle and repent of my identity of sinner, and eagerly look toward my first weeks of providing afternoon academic interventions as San Antonio Outreach's Education Coordinator!