God is the star of this show

My apologies friends!!! I have been here over a month with no word of how things have been going. Well, it has been a hectic but sweet time of exploring our new country, town, and neighborhood. So much has happened in this month of living: riding buses and bikes, eating rice and beans, serving, meeting new people, eating rice and beans, sweating, walking, playing, trying new foods, laughing, and growing.

One fact permeates through each event, interaction, and hour we’ve been here; God has gone before us to make a way.

We meet a lot of people curious to our mission. I get so tied up in "We are doing... I am here to .... I'm a teacher so... etc." No. Rewind. That gives humans too much credit. God is here. God is working. In Philippians 1:6 Paul says says God who began the good work of restoring lives to himself will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. I am only a shell, a vessel of His love and a witness to the heart change happening in Belize. 

I have been convicted of John 3:30 that "God must become greater; and I must become less."  This became so real to me on September 16, 2015. Our 'Kick-off' Bonfire in San Antonio Village.
Here's what went down..

"7 + 4, lets scoop the biggest in our brain
and count on to add the rest"

In August, our American team of 3 (Amber, Sarah, & Charles) spent a few days going house to house taking a census of school aged kids, introducing ourselves to parents and explaining our vision for the youth of this village. They were receptive to our program. Proceed through three weeks of homework help on crowded picnic tables, a loose discipline system, no devotionals for kids, no worship, no prayer, and no structured games. Just 2 hours of free for all hanging out with 20ish students each fighting for attention and many, many mosquitos. Utter chaos.

Enter Israel. Our 4th team member, native of San Antonio village, and newly resigned assistant to the Governor General of Belize. Now 31 years old, he has had a dream of restoring his village and spreading the gospel to his neighbors since he left when he was 18. EVERYONE knows Israel. People in small towns 5 hours from San Antonio know Israel. A good portion of the village is related to Israel. He radiates joy and humbles himself as a servant of God daily. Everyone knows his heart overflows with love for God and his energy is magnetic. Israel is a torch radiating the light of Christ in this village.

With our team complete, Israel spread the news of our Kick Off bonfire in the village to be held Tuesday (Sept 15). This would be huge. The soccer lights would be on (which is for occasions only), free marshmallows for roasting, and games with friends. This would be our chance to bring our A-game, show these kids and parents how fun and great we are.

But no. Charles had a previously scheduled soccer game in the next village so we postponed until Wednesday. The kids had gathered and cheered when Israel came riding up to San Antonio, only to disappoint them with the news of the bonfire pushed back to the next day.

BOOOO!

Wednesday night came. 6:30 was the time. Israel biked up on his own. The sun was setting. Charles was putting new strings on the guitar, which took longer than expected. My punctual American tendencies were getting anxious about the perception of the parents if we came too late. (even though Central America/Belize/Caribbean Island time is flexible)

BOOOOOO!

6:50 (20 min late) arrive at Mary's to get Taheed (13), Shimara (11), Nigel (8), Trevon (5), Fantasha (4). There was a miscommunication of the children not being able to join us and being on punishment for showing disrespect towards their mother. The girls were in nice dresses and very excited about this night. They rarely leave the neighborhood. I was crushed that they might not be able to join us in this festive treat. Back and forth discussion: Yes We can GO! No you CANT! Ugh come on team! Get it together we have to get to the village!

BOOOOOOOO!

7:15 (45 min late) After discussing with the aunt that was watching them all, everyone piled up on bikes. Sarah and I carrying 2 kids on our bike handlebars and frames. Taheed carrying Nigel on his handlebars. Charles with the guitar case. We took off to the store to buy marshmallows. Reloaded all of our passengers, and set off to the village, still about a 15 minute ride if traveling quickly. 30 yards from the store.. ELECTRICAL BLACKOUT.

The whole town was blanketed in darkness. A few alarmed residents, including myself, screamed at the sudden confusion and aloneness. I couldn't see where the rest of my team went, if the kids were okay, or if I was headed toward the drop off into the nasty creek. Going on to San Antonio in this condition would've been unsafe due to holes in the dirt roads that could jolt a kids back if they aren't braced for it and dangerous due to precarious folks thinking the cover of night would conceal identifies, enabling them to take our bikes or backpacks.

Turning back was our only option. I was fuming. Thinking 'there goes our credibility in the village. We'd be viewed as Americans breaking promises of fun to their children. The kids won't want to come hang out after school anymore.' and on and on.

During my pity party, God had been slowly twisting the dimmer switch on the stars to bright, brighter, brightest. There had to have been over a thousand stars right above me. It was surreal. The only comparative image I have of such a spectacle is a planetarium. Orrrr  Disney's The Lion King.

God got my heart's attention real fast. He said 'Amber stop, look at my beautiful works. Reset your mind and attitude to show my gifts of love. You'll get to the bonfire when you get there. Relax because I am near.' I was so wrapped up in our presentation and timeliness, that I forgot who I should be promoting. This is not the Amber show, nor the Belize Project show; This season for the village is a ongoing show of God's mighty hand that I am thrilled to watch unfold.

The rest of the night after that display and comforting feeling was much better. We biked home to retrieve our headlamps for a safer ride. As we were digging them from bags, the power came back on. What a relief! We arrived to the village at 7:45 (1 hr 15 min late) to anxious children sitting in a circle (which never happens) with Israel teaching them that God made everything. They were very excited for the marshmallows to arrive! We started helping the 4 and 5 year olds with roasting and called over each older group. We danced, played soccer, and hung out until 8:30 when parents came to walk them home. The children hugged and thanked us for the night and many said "See you tomorrow!"

I am so thankful to serve a God who 'brings light to the darkness.' Darkness of a busy self-centered mind, darkness of a town without electricity, and darkness of a world desperately needing the shining gift of Jesus Christ. 'Great are You, Lord!'

Can't sleep? Count (yourselves as) sheep

3:00 am 2 days away from my one-way flight (3,2,1, go)
So I lay here awake, unable to shut off my mind about my impending journey and year in Belize.
I am tempted to text or call anyone else who might still be up (thinking of you nightshift friends). Which led me to remember a catchy saying my SOS team leader taught us:
 "take it to the throne before you pick up the phone" Nice one Maddy!

Friends and family are a blessing and comfort through conversation or presence.
But opening up God's word to welcome Him to speak, into what typically is a one-sided conversation in prayer, has lifted me out of fear's grasp.

(open the bible, hmm lets see here..)
People-I was led to John 10, The Good Shepherd and His Sheep. This is no coincidence.
This passage was preached to me and about 40 others March 10, 2013 under a hot tent in Corozal, Belize. Completely in Spanish. Did I mention it was hot? No light show, no microphone, personal fans constantly fluttering. For 2 hours I pieced together phrases of truth and watched a man get so touched to tears that he paused often in his delivery of this impactful message.
He read verse 14 and had the crowd repeat it back at least 10 times.

"I am the good shepherd, I know my sheep and my sheep know me----
»Yo soy el buen pastor; conozco a mis ovejas, y ellas me conocen a mí"

Our Shepherd, Jesus Christ, laid his life down for us. He made it His job to his death to protect us and help us grow. He is always watching and leading us for our good and for His glory. How comforting!
Also in Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of the lost sheep. How a good shepherd will leave the group of safe 99 to seek the one who has wandered from the flock. He parades into town with the sheep on his shoulders as the town rejoices over the return of his lost livestock. Similarly, the heavens rejoice when one sinner repents and rests in the arms of the Father. My fellow sheep, we are so loved!

I feel God brought this familiar passage to mind as if to say "Amber, I was with you in the hot bilingual tent. I am with you now and the same truth applies. John 10 will never change and neither will my protective watch over you. Rest easy little sheep. I love you."

Bahhhhh

Labels

Over our lives we accumulate a plethora of temporary labels, as they relate to roles in seasons of life.

Toddler, new neighbor, student, youth kid, athlete, intern, graduate, fiance, newlywed, employee, etc.

Each new position brings responsibilities with it; responsibilities we choose to take up or shrug off.

My position with San Antonio Outreach has been "intern" for the last couple of months. Interns' responsibilities for this ministry were vague, serve-where-needed type of role. As this is the launch of this project, administration felt that more definitive titles should be given to our team members.

     Charles (our team leader, Project Director) called last week and announced my new label of "Education Coordinator." This new position is more precise to my service for the ministry. It also pinpoints my God given gifts of identifying student deficit areas, designing a plan with specific curriculum and activities, and facilitating learning with individual students or small groups. This.is.my.passion. Exactly how I viewed pursuing Special Education during college years and my reading tutoring days in inner-city Knoxville at Thrive Lonsdale.

"Education Coordinator" is a temporary label, 10 months or so (my Belizean commitment as far as God has revealed). I am going to embrace this role I have trained for, and I could talk for days about the benefits of holistic development for young students. And by the grace of God, I get to make it my act of worship daily!

Now, two labels of mine are more permanent, sinner and new creation.

Romans 3:22-24
22This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

      This Romans 3 passage discusses the inevitable quality of being imperfect people. 3:23 says "for ALL have sinned". I won't list each of my many (dozens, daily, hourly) sins I have committed against my Maker in my life. But just to name a few, my sins include but not are limited to: service with impure motives, unkind words, unloving actions, lies, making idols of worldly achievements, manipulating people and situations for my benefit, jealousy, and and overall distrust of God's perfect plan for my life. Wow. Gross. My heart is twisted and has a natural tendency to lean away from my Father. I wrestle too often with doing life the selfish Amber way, when God has shown me in His word how to live through grace and love instead. Repentance is a necessity because I have been a bad daughter and even worse co-heir in the inheritance of heaven. Uh. Sinner, a load of a label I will never shake.

Take heart Amber, you pessimistic, perpetual wrong-doer!

Romans 3:22 & 24 bring the heat. Those verses claim that I, and all unrighteous sinners, have the righteousness of Jesus, the spotless lamb. Wait, seriously? Covering this messed up soul? YES. Jesus' sacrificial death redeemed my relationship with God and reset my eternal destination from down to UP! Again in Romans 5:8 it reads 8"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God knew what a rebellious people his chosen nation were, yet sent his only son to die the humiliating death we deserve. Hallelujah! What a gift!

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." Because of my faith in my Savior Jesus Christ, new facts and new qualities are true of me. My past and future sin is forgiven. Gone. My debt is paid in full. Done. I am remade, rewired, and redirected to want the things my Lord desires when I chose to remain attentive to His presence and direction. And that my friends is where true peace is found.

Labels, we all have them. It's what we choose to do with these titles that determines how we glorify God during that season. Therefore, I rejoice in my identity of a new creation, battle and repent of my identity of sinner, and eagerly look toward my first weeks of providing afternoon academic interventions as San Antonio Outreach's Education Coordinator!

"We'll just start off with water, thanks"

"1In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters." Genesis 1:1-2

^Good luck recreating that scene, Hollywood.

Water - clear. refreshing. cool. moving. shapeless. reflective. familiar. purposeful.

Water has always astounded me. The fragile chemical makeup of H2O. The abundance on the Earth (about 71% says Google). The ceaseless water cycle. The necessity of organisms water consumption and expulsion to regulate itself, functioning of organs, flowing of blood, and use to transmit electrical signals from my brain to finger muscles as I type this. 

Early evening brings tomorrow's morning dew: a reminder of God's new mercy everyday. As the Earth is renewed daily by this delicate moisture, I am reminded of a promised quality of my Creator.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" Lamentations 3:22-23

I have been thinking a lot about water lately as its role in my life will be changing soon. I'll be living on the coast. I will be consciously hydrating as I work in the heat. I have to be careful having ice in my beverages, and I enjoy ice in my beverages. I cannot flip on the faucet and have crisp Memphis water should I need a drink. I will have my fill of shilling water (similar to CapriSun container) and a refillable 5 gallon jug for hydration. My young students, friends, and fellow children of God will continue to drink the well water and expose themselves to diseases. Their bodies have built more resistance to such diseases, but it still strikes me as a stark difference than the sources of water I was raised with.

 (photo from my Belize trip 2013, San Antonio water pump)

Foreign families are drawn to the waters of Belize for beach time, snorkeling on the reef, and recreational fishing. Two years ago I met Belizean boys ages 7 and 9 fishing in what looked like a ditch to catch dinner for their family. Not only did they carry home 3 small bream to feed the family of five; glass bottles were also toted back to town to trade for some change.

Same water: one intended for fun, the other for survival.

Jesus' three years of ministry were loaded with water-infused interactions. He rolled with fishermen. And of course used water for daily hydration and hygiene like you and me.

In John Chapter 4, Jesus offered a different water, living water, to a thirsty woman. (Girl was thirsty physically, spiritually, and culturally.) This encounter can be found in John 4:1-30. Here's a rough overview..
Jesus asks her to get him a drink, and she is confused because he doesn't have anything to get water from the depths of the well.
13Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

She is intrigued and wants this fancy water so she physically will not have to make anymore lengthy, hot trips to the well. However, the living water Jesus is referring to is much more precious. The living water is the Holy Spirit, coming to live among Christ's followers once he is dead, risen, and absolutely glorified.

Through more discussion and Jesus revealing this stranger's past and struggles of her heart, she believes he is the Messiah. She leaves her jar (the task that brought her to the well in the first place) and ran to tell others what she knows is true: her Savior is here. 
The woman abandoned her trivial routine and personal need. She understood the new importance of getting this news to her family and friends now served as top priority. Immediate. Urgent. The crowd's reaction gets me pumped. 30"They came out of the town and made their way toward him." The people had to see for themselves! This man, the Son of God, was surely too good to be true. Alas, he is here. 

So yeah, I think water is pretty neat. God knows this. I anticipate the Lord to continue to show me his provision, nearness, and creativity through water as he calls me to minister by the bay, on the beach, in the rainy season, possibly flooding, and as he showed in John 4, at the local well.
Let us come to the source of life and be filled with the living water; be complete and overflowing to share the good news of Jesus Christ with those around us. The Holy Spirit just might make a splash.

So I'm moving to Belize to...

Help launch an afterschool ministry called San Antonio Outreach. San Antonio is a village outside of Corozal, Belize. San Antonio has about 350 residents. A lack of education further than 5th grade leaves people all over the country without adequate training for well paying jobs. Corruption and hopelessness plagues the village with products of disease, drug addiction, alcoholism, domestic violence, and other abuse endured since childhood. With nowhere to go during the day, young boys are targeted as early as 10 years old to join gang organizations. This heartbreaking cycle continues through the generations. Sin plagues us all, and resources to grow through trials can be limited. As Belize has left San Antonio to repair itself, God has never abandoned it.
Over the past four years, God has begun to rewrite the story of San Antonio, restoring the ‘places long devastated’ (Isaiah 61:4). God has saved my broken soul from darkness through the blood of his son and is making me new (Eph 4:24). Through the vessel of our team, God will redeem the lives of his children in San Antonio.

What our program looks like: My team includes my college friend Charles Cranford, San Antonian native Israel Gilharry, and a new friend and roommate Sarah Weiss. Our aim is to provide students grades 1^st through 5^th a safe place to come after school for nutritious snacks, worship, homework help, activities, and a community radiating Jesus’ love. Our structure of discipline and flow is mimicking Thrive Lonsdale http://thrivelonsdale.com (previously known as SOAR Youth Ministries), a program in Knoxville that Charles, Sarah, and I served during our college years. My school day service includes reading tutoring for freshmen, physical therapy, and community development engaging with families that could use help watching the little ones, doing laundry, or helping prepare meals. Our intent is to introduce young boys and girls to the Healer of their hurt, to experience (possibly for the first time) our heavenly Father’s unconditional love, and to revive hope for a future they desire; the hope we know can only be found in accepting Jesus as our Savior and trusting God as the provider of our needs (John 14:6).

Any other specifics, just ask! 
aladd5@vols.utk.edu

Firstly

Welcome to the blog! I am so excited to share my adventures preparing, launching, and serving an after-school program in Belize. I'd love to tell you more about it!

Here are the top 5 questions I've had from folks:

1. Q: What do your parents think? I bet they are freaking out.
A: Tony and Deronda are supportive, yet concerned about this upcoming year. They are excited that I am doing something I love and sharing my faith with the world. However, they are leery of the unknown culture and potentially dangerous situations that await me. 

2. Q: Are you going through your church?
A: I am with a nonprofit Christian organization called The Belize Project. It is based out of Nashville and has incredible people and ministries already thriving in Belize and stateside.

3. Q: Why 10 months?
A: I have wrestled with the duration of my stay for awhile. August to January or August to March would be dependent on finding a replacement teacher at that point in the ministry. August to June would include the entirety of the Belizean school year. Students, parents, and the fellow teachers in the program would benefit from consistency through the first year of launching this ministry.

4. Q: Don't they speak English?
A: Indeed, English is the official language in Belize. Other languages including Spanish and Kriol, a native tongue similar to Jamaican. Students read, write, and speak English which is perfect because that is all I know how to teach!

5. Q: Will you live on the beach?
A: Not quite. I will be living essentially across the street from the bay; a solid concrete wall that drops off in murky bluish water. Not a beach, but uniquely beautiful! Where I will be teaching is more inland.

Thanks for your interest in my adventure and where the Lord is stirring hearts toward Him!